ADHD Parenting

"Your Shortest Path to a Respectful Child and a Peaceful Home…Period."

  • There is no shortage of parenting advice online today. Whether you want to be a tiger-mom Asian style parent or a hands off French style parent, there is someone who is going to tell you that they have found “the way” to parent successfully.

    “Discover How to Improve Your Child’s Behavior”

    There is also the opposition who tells you that if you follow “that advice” you will ruin your children.

    But I have a secret for you.

    There is no “right way” to parent children. There are many ways, and all of them work if you execute them properly. And none of them work if you are wishy-washy about them.

    The main thing is to pick an approach with which you feel comfortable and follow that.

    With that in mind he are a five ideas that I found are helpful in many families. Choose one, all, or none. It’s up to you.

    1-Let your children choose their consequences:
    When you give guided control to your kids, two things happen.

    First, they to to stick to their limits since they were involved in setting them. Secondly, when they violate their limits and you execute a pre-agreed upon consequence, they are less likely to give you a hard time about it.

    Giving your children this type of choice empowers them and helps them to become more responsible and develop better self-control.

    2-Flexible family meal times:
    Family dinner used to work. At least it did on 1960 television shows. But today, when everyone is going in different directions, it is hard to force a daily time when everyone is required to get together.

    3-Give over your family history:


    When a person feels he is a part of a continuum dating from prehistoric times until now, he feels different about himself. There is a greater sense of importance. He feels responsibility toward his ancestors who struggled and suffered to make it possible for him to have all that he has today.

    When you give over your family history, your child grows up with the stories and the images of those who came before him. It is not the same as thinking that there is only you. Those images might some day be the thing that stops your child from making that bad judgement call or doing that one risky thing if he believes it’s not just about him.

    4-The sex talk:
    I remember when my Dad gave me it. He was really bad at it. I am even worse. But now if you are planning out the one sex talk, then you are already too late. Thanks to our wonderful no holding back media even elementary school children know all about sex.


    Get ADHD and ODD
    Teen Behavior Help

    for children 12 and older

    In this period, we need to begin to talk to kids about sex when they are very young. That means you need to plan multiple sex talks. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that you begin when your child is as young as 18 months old by discussing the correct names of body parts. From that point on you keep the an age appropriate discussion going.

    When the time comes, and it will be sooner than you think, the actual “sex talk” will be a natural outcome of your ongoing dialogue.

    The bottom line is most children turn out more or less okay. As long as you show your children that you genuinely love them and want what is best for them they will probably recover from any of the parenting blunders you make.

    Just relax and enjoy being a parent. You children are growing up before your eyes. If you don’t grasp the special moments that you have with them now, these moments are not going to come back again.

    5-Style is your choice:


    As I started out saying, the are a wide range of approaches to raising children. There is no one right way. Whether you decide to be lenient or firm that does not matter as ling as you are clear.

    What is critically important is that you and your spouse are on the same page. This can be a lot harder than it sounds. In parenting, our default mode is always what we saw our parents do. Since you and your spouse have different parents you were raised with different ideas about parenting.

    The good news is that you are both right. The bad news is that both being right may not matter. What will matter is how well you negotiate your differences and how well you conceal these differences from your children.

    The bottom line is most children turn out more or less okay. As long as you show your children that you genuinely love them and want what is best for them they will probably recover from any of the parenting blunders you make.

    Just relax and enjoy being a parent. You children are growing up before your eyes. If you don’t grasp those special moments that you have with them now, these moments are not going to come back again.

    Please share this article.

    Related Posts


    Should You Spank Your Child?

    Kids Who Perform Kind Acts Are Happier

    Teach Your Child the Gift of Giving

    How to Handle Your Child’s Dishonesty

    How to Make Your Child More Responsible

    7 Powerful Ways to Show Love to Children

    Teaching Children to Be Polite

    5 Steps to Raising Optimistic Children

    Warmly,

      Anthony Kane, MD
        P S Please leave a comment because I would really like to get your reaction to this.

          If you would like to have a quick step-by-step plan on how to end your child's difficult behavior forever and your child is between the ages of 2 and 11:

            Please go to:

          How to Improve Your Child's Behavior

          No Comments
        • by Dr. Noel Swanson

          Here is the picture: You have just dared to deny your two year old a cookie. So how does she respond? Does she take it on the chin? Does she philosophically and phlegmatically accept that, at times, life sucks?

          Not on your life!

          What does she do? She screams. She hollers. She cries. She stamps her feet. She rolls around on the floor as though in the grip of blood sucking demon.

          Soon the neighbors are banging on the door wondering why you are torturing your child. Then social services arrive. Next thing you know, you are on national television being carted off to jail for child abuse.

          Well, maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration. But it certainly can get pretty stressful trying to deal with it all.

          So what should you do?

          The key here, as always, is to STAY CALM. The dynamic is pretty simple. Child wants cookie. Parent says no. Child wants to change parent’s mind, so she puts on a display. This is important to remember: the sole purpose of this display is to get you to GIVE IN.

          If you do, then the child learns that tantrums work and, guess what? Next time she will try it again.

          So, if you want to eliminate the tantrums, here is what you do: Walk away.

          That’s it.

          Let her carry on rolling around on the floor. Ignore her. Do not try to pacify her (that would be rewarding it by giving her attention). Do not scold her (same reason). Do not say anything. Just walk out of the room.

          If she follows you then, if necessary, lock yourself in the bedroom or even bathroom – anywhere that you can get away from her and completely ignore her. Put on some music, or the vacuum cleaner so you can’t hear her.

          The goal is to give her no attention, no feedback, no reward for as long as she is making a fuss.

          It is pretty hard to keep up a performance when no one is listening. So if you do this successfully, she will eventually calm down. When she does, THEN give her some attention (but not a cookie!) Reward being quiet, not the tantrum.

          But be warned – she might get pretty loud before she gives up, so be prepared to see it through! If you give in before she is calm, you will have rewarded the tantrum and made it even more likely to happen next time.

          Just one other point – obviously, before you walk out, do make sure that she is safe where she is. It would not be wise, for example, to leave her unattended, having a giant paddy, in the kitchen with hot liquids boiling away on the hob.

          Now, what if she does this in public?

          Of course her tactic is even more powerful there, as she can enlist your fear of embarrassment to work in her favor.

          The principles, though, are the same. You need to ignore it. You could just walk away and leave her screaming in the aisles while you continue shopping. Or you could pick her up, carry her to the car, put her inside, and then stand outside (with your back to her) until she is calm.

          If you have already been doing it successfully at home, she will pretty quickly realize that the same rules apply here, so she should settle down fairly quickly.

          Dr. Noel Swanson is a practicing psychiatrist with over 2 decades of extensive clinical experience. He is the author of the internationally acclaimed Good Child Guide

          I highly recommend this resource to you.

          Please share this article.

          Related Posts


          When are Tantrums Abnormal?

          Tantrum 911

          how to Stop Temper Tantrums

          Teach Your Child the Gift of Giving

          How to Handle Your Child’s Dishonesty

          4 Effective Tips For Aggressive Child Behavior

          Handling Your Child’s Emotional Upheavals and Upsets

          5 Common Parenting Mistakes and How to Fix Them

          Teaching Children to Be Polite

          5 Steps to Raising Optimistic Children

          Warmly,

            Anthony Kane, MD
              P S Please leave a comment because I would really like to get your reaction to this.

                If you would like to have a quick step-by-step plan on how to end your child's difficult behavior forever and your child is between the ages of 2 and 11:

                  Please go to:

                  How to Improve Your Child's Behavior

                  No Comments
                • We all want our children to grow into dependable caring adults. Here are seven techniques to make this goal a reality.

                  1. Begin when your child is young

                  As soon as your child is old enough to understand, he can begin to help. It might be something as simple as bringing you a clean diaper or handing you the bottle when he is finished.


                  Children have a strong desire to help. Even children younger than two years old want to do things to help their parents.

                  You can encourage your child by creatively finding things for him or her to do and then giving lots of praise. This will help build your child’s confidence and self-esteem, and it will set up a pattern of helping out early in your child’s life.

                  2. Do not buy your child’s help

                  Do not give your child rewards in exchange for helping. You want to build an internal desire to assist you, not one based upon receiving payment.


                  Get ADHD and ODD
                  Teen Behavior Help

                  for children 12 and older

                  You want your child to learn the pleasure of giving to others. When he gets a reward for assisting, you teach him to focus on what he will get, instead of how he can give.

                  This does not mean you never give your child anything for helping. It just can’t be perceived as a “payment”.

                  This is how you should do it.

                  After your child does something for you, say,

                    “I really appreciate how you helped me and I want to do something nice for you, too. I am going to call your father and have him bring home the movie that you want to see.”

                  When you reward your child this way, what you are really doing is showing your gratitude. You are not paying a reward for work.


                  This is better than a reward for a number of reasons. You are showing your child your gratitude, which is the real reward. You are motivating your child to help without the expectation of receiving payment at the end.

                  In the back of your child’s mind he realizes that on occasion he may receive something unexpected when he helps, which adds an extra motivation to help.

                  3. Let the natural consequences of your child’s mistake occur

                  We don’t want our children to suffer if we can help them avoid it. But, parents who protect their child from the consequences of their actions are making a big mistake.

                  Our goal as parents is to teach our child to be good, responsible adults. In the adult world no one is going to shelter your child when he is careless or reckless.

                  When your child makes a mistake, you do him no favors by bailing him out. Let your child learn to be dependable by taking responsibility for his actions and his mistakes.

                  4. Acknowledge when your child is acting responsibly

                  Everybody loves recognition. When you point out times that your child is behaving in a trustworthy fashion, you are encouraging him to continue this type of behavior in the future.

                  5. Make responsibility a family value

                  Discuss being responsible with your child. Let them know that it is something that you value.

                  Let your children see you being dependable. Your child will learn much more from what you do than from what you say. Be a good role model.

                  6. Give your child an allowance

                  Let your children make their own money decisions from an early age. They will make mistakes, but don’t bail them out. It is better for them to learn what happens when they run out of money while the stakes are low, than it is to learn this when the lives of their children are involved.

                  7. Believe in your child

                  This is perhaps the most important way to make your child responsible. Children have no clear cut picture of themselves. They get their self-image from how those around them respond to them.

                  If you view your child as being responsible, he will grow to fit your expectations. On the other hand, if through your words or actions you let your child know that you feel you need to look after him and that you do not feel he is reliable, he will fit that expectation.

                  How you view your child will shape who he will become. If you truly believe that your child is capable of keeping commitments and behaves in a responsible fashion, your child will become responsible. Period.

                  Bonus Technique: Give your child responsibility

                  Children don’t become more dependable with age. They become more reliable by taking on responsibility. The only way your child will ever become reliable and dependable is by exercising these traits.

                  Give your child a chance to show you what he can do. He will grow from the opportunity. He will grow even more from the mistakes that he makes. Either way, when you give your child the opportunity and you believe in him, he will move toward becoming a well functioning responsible adult.

                  Please share this article.

                  Related Posts


                  Understanding How Children Develop Empathy

                  Defiant Children-Getting Your Child to Obey

                  Teach Your Child the Gift of Giving

                  How to Handle Your Child’s Dishonesty

                  Teen Binge Drinking

                  What to Do if Your Child is a Bully

                  Oppositional Defiant Disorder Treatment
                  4 Effective Tips For Aggressive Child Behavior

                  Handling Your Child’s Emotional Upheavals and Upsets

                  5 Common Parenting Mistakes and How to Fix Them How to Develop Your Child’s Imagination

                  Warmly,

                    Anthony Kane, MD
                      P S Please leave a comment because I would really like to get your reaction to this.

                        If you would like to have a quick step-by-step plan on how to end your child's difficult behavior forever and your child is between the ages of 2 and 11:

                          Please go to:

                          How to Improve Your Child's Behavior

                          No Comments
                        • At least 3% of school children have ADHD, making this condition one of the most common disorders affecting our children. For nearly a century stimulant medications, such as Ritalin, Concerta, Adderall, or Dexedrine, have been the most effective treatment for this disorder.

                          Recently, a lot of concern has been expressed concerning the safety of these medications. Adderall XR was implicated in the death of 20 patients. This resulted in a ban on the use of this drug in Canada in 2005. In the same year the FDA linked 16 deaths to the use of Concerta. Ritalin has been implicated in 186 deaths between the years 1990 and 2000.



                          These statistics have given birth to a number of concerned parent groups that want to stop the use of stimulant medications in ADHD children. A variety of natural medicine companies bolstered their cries, while incidentally offering their own natural treatment as an alternative.

                          It is not surprising that all the noise has made many parents uneasy about using stimulants to treat ADHD in their children. Many parents fear that they are putting their child at risk by giving them these medications. ADHD is a very disturbing condition, but it is not fatal. It does not make sense to give your child something that endangers his life just to treat ADHD.

                          Are parents who use medication to treat ADHD reckless? Before answering this question we need to examine the evidence.

                          Ritalin Death Statistics

                          As discussed previously, in the decade before the new millennium, 186 children died from taking Ritalin. That sounds like a large number of children, but is it?

                          In 1990, 900,000 children received Ritalin. Currently, there are between four and five million children receiving this medication. If you estimate about 20 deaths a year from Ritalin, then the risk of your child dying from taking Ritalin is somewhere between 1 in 45,000 and 1 in 250,000. This means statistically, for every 45,000 children who take Ritalin 1 will die and 44,999 will survive. This does not mean that the children won’t have any of the other ill effects. It just means that death will not be one of them.

                          Admittedly, this is not an exact calculation of the risk of death. To do that one needs to know the approximate number of children who took Ritalin between 1990 and 2000. This information is not available. However, whatever the exact risk is, it is very small.

                          Contrast that to the death risk of using other common drugs. For example, acetaminophen, the active ingredient in drugs like Tylenol, has been implicated in 42% of all cases of acute liver failure. 7600 deaths are attributed to aspirin and similar drugs every year. The risk of dying from a single dose of penicillin is 1 in 50,000, the same as the risk of taking Ritalin over many years. These are drugs that we use everyday. They too have some risk. Yet there is not outcry to ban them.


                          There is no attempt here to minimize or ignore the danger involved in giving our children stimulant medications. Even one child’s death is unacceptable if it can be prevented. However, when you consider the risk of giving your child Ritalin, Concerta, Adderall, and similar medications, you need to realize there are many more dangerous medications that are being used in homes everyday.

                          The Danger of Not Treating ADHD

                          The risk of using medication is only one aspect of the equation. We need to consider what happens to ADHD children if they don’t receive medication. Very few people ever discuss this.

                          In 1999, researcher examined how giving ADHD medication impacts the risk of future drug abuse. What these researchers discovered was that ADHD children who received medication for their ADHD were no more likely to get heavily involved with street drugs and alcohol than were children without ADHD. However, children with ADHD who did not receive medication were three times as likely to develop a serious drug or alcohol problem.


                          So is there a danger in not using ADHD medications such as Ritalin, Concerta, or Adderall? Consider this. The three leading causes of death in teens and young adults are suicide, homicide, and accidents. Drug and alcohol abuse play a significant role in all of these.

                          You also should consider all of the academic, social, and behavioral problems that accompany a child with untreated ADHD. More than that, if your child also has a co-existing disorder, such as Oppositional Defiant Disorder, giving ADHD medication may be the most effect thing you can do to handle the problem. These other problems may not be fatal, but they can ruin the life and the future of your child.

                          Certainly, a child who does not need medication should not take Ritalin, Concerta, or Adderall or anything else for that matter. However, if your child has ADHD and it is impairing his ability to function normally, then stimulant medication is still the best and quickest way to get the problem under control. This is not to say that it is the only approach. There are numerous effective non-medical treatments for ADHD. But you need to do something.

                          If you are like most parents, you don’t like the idea of your child taking stimulant medication for ADHD. However, one thing that should not worry you is that you child will be the one child in 45,000 who has a fatal reaction to the medication. You should be far more worried about the risk of not treating your child.

                          Please share this article.

                          Related Posts

                          Treating ADHD and Reading Disorders

                          ADHD and Anxiety

                          Why Your ADHD Child Needs an Evaluation

                          “TV is Good for Your Child” reports CNN

                          Top 10 Parenting Mistakes

                          When to Get a Diagnosis For a Child With Developmental Delays

                          When are Tantrums Abnormal?

                          Oppositional Defiant Disorder Treatment

                          The Signs of Drug and Alcohol Abuse in Children and Teenagers

                          Warmly,

                            Anthony Kane, MD
                              P S Please leave a comment because I would really like to get your reaction to this.

                                If you would like to have a quick step-by-step plan on how to end your child's difficult behavior forever and your child is between the ages of 2 and 11:

                                  Please go to:

                                  How to Improve Your Child's Behavior

                                  1 Comment
                                • continued from What to Do When Your Child is Stealing

                                  1-Stay Calm

                                  Don’t overreact. When a child steals it does not mean that he is a thief or is headed for a life of crime. It is really no different than any of mistake that your child makes.

                                  2-Do not Take it Personally

                                  Children steal to get attention. If your child is stealing from you and you take it as a personal attack you are reinforcing the reason the child stole.

                                  3-Do Not Accuse or Confront Your Child

                                  This point must be stressed. You must catch your child in the act so that the situation speaks for itself.

                                  You can never challenge your child with circumstantial evidence. Either the child will lie and you will reinforce his dishonesty or he will confess. If he tells the truth and you punish him, you will be teaching him that it pays to lie. Either way you are stuck. Circumstantial evidence won’t do.

                                  Hearing that your child stole from a third party won’t do. If your child denies it, then you are forced to believe your child. If you don’t, then you will show your child that you don’t trust him.

                                  Nothing encourages a child to be dishonest more that knowing that his parents don’t trust him. If the child confesses, you will not be able to punish him.

                                  Even if you are 99% sure your child is stealing that is not good enough to accuse him.

                                  For example, say that you look in your purse and the brand new $50 you took out from the bank yesterday is missing. You put your child’s laundry away and you find hidden among his things your brand new $50. You did not catch your child.

                                  Maybe someone else also lost a new $50 bill and he found it. Maybe your $50 fell out of your purse and your child found it on the street. Unless you see your child reach into your purse and take out the $50 you did not see him steal.

                                  4-Make Sure that Your Child Knows What He Did is Wrong

                                  This is particularly true of a younger child.

                                  What to Do When You Catch Your Child

                                  Don’t ask the child for explanations. Merely state that he is not allowed to take things from other people. Do not sermonize. Just use simple explanations.

                                  “Stealing is wrong. You would not want anyone to take your toy. So it’s wrong for you to take this toy.”

                                  Never imply that your child is bad. Stealing is bad, not the child. Do not call your child a thief, dishonest, or a liar or any other name that you do not want him to become. When you give your child a label, he will grow to fill that label.


                                  Correcting the Wrong

                                  If Your Child Stole From Someone Outside the Family

                                  Your child must make restitution. If your child stole from a store or from a neighbor, then see that he returns the object. Have your child apologize and say he or she will never do it again. You should accompany your child to make it easier for him to correct the damage.

                                  If Your Child Stole Money from You


                                  Estimate what child took and make it clear that the child must pay you back. He may do this by helping around the house for money. You should pay him enough that he pays off his debt in about a month. Say to him that you realize he needs more money and give him an allowance or increase in allowance.

                                  Hide Temptation

                                  Don’t leave money around where the child can find it. Tell his siblings that you are going to watch their money for a while. Don’t tell them why. Don’t send this child to the store to buy something with a large bill where there will be a lot of change.

                                  Putting the Incident into the Past

                                  Figure Out Why Your Child Stole

                                  If he needs more attention make a special effort to give it too him. If he needs to feel more control over his life, give him an increase in allowance and more freedom to spend it as he wishes. If he needs certain things to be part of his peer group, make sure that he gets them.

                                  Continue to Trust Your Child

                                  If your child is stealing it does not mean he is bad or he is a thief. You don’t want your reaction to make him become that way. Your child will fulfill your expectations of him. If you view him as a thief, bad, or dishonest he will grow into that label.

                                  Be a Model of Honesty

                                  Children learn by watching their parents. You should show concern about the property rights of others. A parent who brings office supplies home or boasts about a mistake at the supermarket checkout counter, teaches his child that honesty is not important.

                                  Conclusion

                                  Stealing is a common problem. You should view it like any other mistake your child makes. It is something that has to be corrected, but it is not more than that. If you handle it properly, you can correct this problem quickly and easily.

                                  Please share this article.

                                  Related Posts


                                  Teen Binge Drinking

                                  What to Do if Your Child is a Bully

                                  Oppositional Defiant Disorder Treatment
                                  Signs of Teen Substance Abuse
                                  Are You Your Teen`s Drug Dealer?

                                  Teen Dating Violence

                                  The 9 Rules of Raising Teenagers

                                  Warmly,

                                    Anthony Kane, MD
                                      P S Please leave a comment because I would really like to get your reaction to this.

                                        If you would like to have a quick step-by-step plan on how to end your child's difficult behavior forever and your child is between the ages of 2 and 11:

                                          Please go to:

                                          How to Improve Your Child's Behavior

                                          No Comments
                                        •