ADHD Parenting

"Your Shortest Path to a Respectful Child and a Peaceful Home…Period."

  • When your child is young your primary role is to set limits about what is and what is not acceptable behavior. Your teens still need this type of direction, but your method of delivery needs to change.

    It is quite okay to tell a child what to do and what not to do. However, most teens do not respond well to being ordered around. Teens have a natural desire to want to run their own lives. Therefore, when setting limits for your teens, just telling them will not be very effective. Instead, your focus should be on discussing and negotiating appropriate behavior. The more input you allow your teen to have in setting limits, the more likely he is to stay within them.

    Get ADHD and ODD
    Teen Behavior Help

    for children 12 and older

    Here are 5 tips that will make setting limits for your teens more effective:

      1- Choose the right time and place. The right time means when both of you are calm. If either one of you is upset or angry, the discussion will not go as well. The right place means in privacy away from other children.
      2- Focus on what you want rather than what your child is doing wrong. The natural response to criticism is denial and rationalization. Neither of these promotes discussion. There are times when you will need to criticize your teen’s behavior, but you want to minimize this as much as possible.

      3- Let your child experience the natural consequences of his behavior. This is hard to do. We want to save our children from pain, especially when we see so clearly what is coming. However, your child needs to learn to use good judgment. The best way the learn good judgment is to experience bad judgment. So as long as nothing dangerous is going to happen, let your child learn from his mistakes.
      4- Come to an agreement about appropriate discipline. Children are more ready to keep to their limits and to accept the consequences when they violate those limits, if they have a say in establishing the rules.

      5- Follow through. Rules are not suggestions; they are rules. Rules need to be enforced. Your child needs to know you are serious.

    In order to follow through correctly, you need to use consequences effectively. However, most parents use consequences entirely wrong.

    Find out the #1 reason why most parents use fail when they give consequences.

    Go to:

    Getting Consequences to Work


      Anthony Kane, MD
        P S Please leave a comment because I would really like to get your reaction to this.

          If you would like to have a quick step-by-step plan on how to end your child's difficult behavior forever and your child is between the ages of 2 and 11:

            Please go to:

          How to Improve Your Child's Behavior

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        • Here are three tips to get kids to do chores:

            1-Have a family meeting. Discuss how everyone lives in the home and everyone contributes to the mess. Therefore, everyone must contribute to cleaning and maintaining the home.

            2- Teach your child to figure out what needs to be done. If you notice there is a room that needs cleaning, rather than giving an order ask your child what problems he sees and what needs fixing.
            3- Show your child how you like things done. Try to work together. This teaches your child how to do it right and provides for some good together time.

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            Anthony Kane, MD
              P S Please leave a comment because I would really like to get your reaction to this.

                If you would like to have a quick step-by-step plan on how to end your child's difficult behavior forever and your child is between the ages of 2 and 11:

                  Please go to:

                  How to Improve Your Child's Behavior

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                • As the parent of a child who lives with ADD or ADHD, it is likely that you’ve observed the daily limitations that your child faces. Although children with severe ADD or ADHD may require additional support in many areas of their lives, it can be hard for a family to meet these needs. If you find that you are struggling to support a child who has ADD or ADHD, you may be eligible to receive financial assistance in the form of disability benefits.

                  The following article will provide you with a basic understanding of the benefits available to your family and will prepare you to begin the application process.

                  Is ADD/ADHD a Disability?

                  Although a child with ADD or ADHD may face many different challenges, these conditions are not typically thought of as disabilities. However, if your child meets the following criteria, the Social Security Administration (SSA) will consider them to have a disability:

                  • The child is not working a job considered to be substantial work; and
                  • Has a physical or mental condition (or a combination of conditions) that causes “marked and severe functional limitations;” and
                  • The condition has lasted—or is expected to last—at least one year or result in death.
                  Children who do not meet these criteria will not be considered to have a disability and will not qualify for benefits. Therefore, only children who have severe ADD or ADHD symptoms—despite treatment—will likely qualify for disability benefits.

                  Benefit Program Options

                  Generally, the SSA governs and distributes disability benefits from two separate programs—Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) and Supplemental Security Income (SSI). Social Security Disability Insurance is a program for workers who have earned income and paid Social Security taxes for a significant period of time. Children typically only receive this type of assistance if a parent or guardian is already receiving SSDI benefits. This type of benefit is known as an auxiliary benefit ( If you feel this might apply to your case, consult your local Social Security Administration office.

                  In most cases, children only qualify for SSI benefits. SSI is a disability benefit program geared toward helping disabled individuals who earn very low income. Eligibility for SSI benefits is based on strict income and resource limits. Because children generally do not handle their own finances, child applicants will be evaluated based on a portion of their parents’ income. This is called deeming. Learn more about child SSI benefits and about the deeming process, here (

                  Medical Eligibility

                  To qualify for SSI benefits, your child will also have to meet medical criteria pertaining to his or her specific condition. These criteria are outlined in the SSA’s guidebook of disabilities—most commonly known as the blue book.

                  Children who have ADD or ADHD are evaluated under blue book listing 112.11—Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. To qualify under this listing, your child’s condition must cause developmentally inappropriate degrees of inattention, impulsiveness, and hyperactivity. A diagnosis of ADD or ADHD, however, will not be enough to prove your child’s eligibility for SSI benefits. Your child’s ADD or ADHD must also meet a certain level of severity. To do so, you must provide the SSA with medical records that demonstrate marked inattention, marked impulsiveness, and marked hyperactivity.

                  Your child will also have to demonstrate a deficit in the following areas of his or her life:
                  • Cognitive and/or communication functions;
                  • Social function;
                  • Personal function; and
                  • Concentration, persistence, and pace.

                  In the blue book, the SSA explores these four categories further. It is important to note that there are slight differences in these categories that vary by age group.
                  For more information, read the full listing here:

                  The Application

                  Because you are applying for benefits on behalf of a child, you will need to schedule an interview with your local SSA branch to complete the application. Due to the backlog of disability claims, it is likely that you will have to wait weeks or even months to attend your child’s interview.

                  While you wait for your appointment, gather all of your child’s relevant medical records. You should also request written statements from therapists and teachers who have seen how your child’s ADD or ADHD has interfered with his or her day-to-day life. Finally, you should collect records pertaining to your household finances to submit as part of the deeming process of the SSI application.

                  At your interview, be sure to answer all questions thoroughly and accurately. The information gathered in your interview should provide the SSA with insight into how ADD or ADHD affects your child’s life and how it impacts their ability to function appropriately. Any missing, incomplete, or inaccurate information could cause your child’s claim to be delayed or even denied.

                  Receiving a Decision

                  After the initial application is complete, you will likely wait several months before receiving a decision. The average wait time is three to four months. If your application is denied, do not lose hope. Remember—this is a common outcome for the majority of disability applicants and you are allowed to submit an appeal. It is important that you take advantage of the appeals process and use it as an opportunity to collect further medical evidence and strengthen your child’s case.

                  Applying for disability benefits is hard work, but the reward—ensuring your child’s health and wellbeing—often makes it worthwhile. For information regarding adult ADHD or ADD, visit the following page:


                    Anthony Kane, MD
                      P S Please leave a comment because I would really like to get your reaction to this.

                        If you would like to have a quick step-by-step plan on how to end your child's difficult behavior forever and your child is between the ages of 2 and 11:

                          Please go to:

                          How to Improve Your Child's Behavior

                          No Comments
                        • At least 3% of school children have ADHD, making this condition one of the most common disorders affecting our children. For nearly a century stimulant medications, such as Ritalin, Concerta, Adderall, or Dexedrine, have been the most effective treatment for this disorder.

                          Recently, a lot of concern has been expressed concerning the safety of these medications. Adderall XR was implicated in the death of 20 patients. This resulted in a ban on the use of this drug in Canada in 2005. In the same year the FDA linked 16 deaths to the use of Concerta. Ritalin has been implicated in 186 deaths between the years 1990 and 2000.

                          These statistics have given birth to a number of concerned parent groups that want to stop the use of stimulant medications in ADHD children. A variety of natural medicine companies bolstered their cries, while incidentally offering their own natural treatment as an alternative.

                          It is not surprising that all the noise has made many parents uneasy about using stimulants to treat ADHD in their children. Many parents fear that they are putting their child at risk by giving them these medications. ADHD is a very disturbing condition, but it is not fatal. It does not make sense to give your child something that endangers his life just to treat ADHD.

                          Are parents who use medication to treat ADHD reckless? Before answering this question we need to examine the evidence.

                          Ritalin Death Statistics

                          As discussed previously, in the decade before the new millennium, 186 children died from taking Ritalin. That sounds like a large number of children, but is it?

                          In 1990, 900,000 children received Ritalin. Currently, there are between four and five million children receiving this medication. If you estimate about 20 deaths a year from Ritalin, then the risk of your child dying from taking Ritalin is somewhere between 1 in 45,000 and 1 in 250,000. This means statistically, for every 45,000 children who take Ritalin 1 will die and 44,999 will survive. This does not mean that the children won’t have any of the other ill effects. It just means that death will not be one of them.

                          Admittedly, this is not an exact calculation of the risk of death. To do that one needs to know the approximate number of children who took Ritalin between 1990 and 2000. This information is not available. However, whatever the exact risk is, it is very small.

                          Contrast that to the death risk of using other common drugs. For example, acetaminophen, the active ingredient in drugs like Tylenol, has been implicated in 42% of all cases of acute liver failure. 7600 deaths are attributed to aspirin and similar drugs every year. The risk of dying from a single dose of penicillin is 1 in 50,000, the same as the risk of taking Ritalin over many years. These are drugs that we use everyday. They too have some risk. Yet there is not outcry to ban them.

                          There is no attempt here to minimize or ignore the danger involved in giving our children stimulant medications. Even one child’s death is unacceptable if it can be prevented. However, when you consider the risk of giving your child Ritalin, Concerta, Adderall, and similar medications, you need to realize there are many more dangerous medications that are being used in homes everyday.

                          The Danger of Not Treating ADHD

                          The risk of using medication is only one aspect of the equation. We need to consider what happens to ADHD children if they don’t receive medication. Very few people ever discuss this.

                          In 1999, researcher examined how giving ADHD medication impacts the risk of future drug abuse. What these researchers discovered was that ADHD children who received medication for their ADHD were no more likely to get heavily involved with street drugs and alcohol than were children without ADHD. However, children with ADHD who did not receive medication were three times as likely to develop a serious drug or alcohol problem.

                          So is there a danger in not using ADHD medications such as Ritalin, Concerta, or Adderall? Consider this. The three leading causes of death in teens and young adults are suicide, homicide, and accidents. Drug and alcohol abuse play a significant role in all of these.

                          You also should consider all of the academic, social, and behavioral problems that accompany a child with untreated ADHD. More than that, if your child also has a co-existing disorder, such as Oppositional Defiant Disorder, giving ADHD medication may be the most effect thing you can do to handle the problem. These other problems may not be fatal, but they can ruin the life and the future of your child.

                          Certainly, a child who does not need medication should not take Ritalin, Concerta, or Adderall or anything else for that matter. However, if your child has ADHD and it is impairing his ability to function normally, then stimulant medication is still the best and quickest way to get the problem under control. This is not to say that it is the only approach. There are numerous effective non-medical treatments for ADHD. But you need to do something.

                          If you are like most parents, you don’t like the idea of your child taking stimulant medication for ADHD. However, one thing that should not worry you is that you child will be the one child in 45,000 who has a fatal reaction to the medication. You should be far more worried about the risk of not treating your child.

                          Please share this article.

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                            Anthony Kane, MD
                              P S Please leave a comment because I would really like to get your reaction to this.

                                If you would like to have a quick step-by-step plan on how to end your child's difficult behavior forever and your child is between the ages of 2 and 11:

                                  Please go to:

                                  How to Improve Your Child's Behavior

                                  1 Comment
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